Congrats to YY!

Yanyan just got engaged!!! =D

We were sosuperduper excited about it, and so touched when we finally saw the proposal happen. I'm lazy to describe the process in detail, but basically it involved a cinema full of people, a video clip, and finally, an appearance by Mike with a MAD CHIO heart-shaped diamond ring, and asked her to marry him while on bended knee.

Kaykay & I like totally burst out in tears when the clip came on. So sweet of Mike, who's like shy & quiet most times, to do such a public declaration of love!

It has been almost a decade since CYY & I became friends, and it's really really heartwarming and such a relieft to know that she finally found The One after all the lousy guys & heartbreaks from her younger days. =)

To all girls out there who's constantly worrying about not being able to meet The One (yes you, viv), good things are worth waiting for.

On another note, I've to accept the fact that i'm not skinny anymore. Really. To those who think I'm being crazy, wait till you see Kaykay, Cheesie & Teo Shuyin, only THEN you know what is skinny. I feel like a giant when I walk beside them. =(

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On to other grumblings:

I'm angry that I have to wake up early tomorrow to do work-stuff that's not even related to me project and I've to sacrifice my entire Saturday afternoon & night for this event at Zirca with no alcohol. wtf. Argh! I'm gonna be so tired and grumpy. bah!

Sorry I can't spend anytime with you this weekend, boyfriend.

Can't get enough of the awesomely weird dream I had last night. Hope I dream about it again.
Goodnight!

ATL

sigh. sigh. sigh. at the other end of the scale again where all my esteem, whining and discontentments re-surface.

who can bring me to a happier place? no, i need to find it myself.

what can i do to make my face less fat, nose sharper and eyes bigger?

when will I be able to get a pay raise, or earn enough?

where, oh where is that happier place?

why can't I live a carefree and responsibility-free life?

how can I fail driving THRICE?! fkn failure can?

bleah! dreading it.

but we all know i'll flip over to the other side of the scale soon..i'm that fickle.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

byebye, MJ.

It has been a week since he left the world, and I still can't believe that he is dead. Superstars like this, you don't expect them to die like us mere mortals. But the fact remains that he's a human who will one day die, just like you & I. And he did, before us.

The annoyance I feel over MJ's passing is starting to override my grief. Annoyed at the media, the public and his 'loved ones', especially at the media.

The media, in my opinion, is single-handedly the one guilty of pushing him into the centre of public ridicule & shunning, where he was cornered in until his passing. And now that the world is in 'grief', they turn around and paint a picture of beauty and perfection of him in life. What for? So that people try to remember him in a good way after his death? No point, right? He's already gone.

When he was alive and kicking, you pushed all his good aside and stand on that side of the pole where it seems morally right, or more newsworthy, and hit him hard. You gave no credit to his good, and piled him with negative attention.

His 'loved ones' disappoints me too. His daughter might look like she cried, but if you look really closely, is that how a 11 y.o. girl really cries in a time like that? Was there really tears? Where was all this 'love' you have for him when you were trying to leech off his fame and fortune?

All this show of your love only at his wake, his memorial. Honestly, is it riding on his fame for your own good? Where were their love, encouragement and support when he was humiliated and lampooned endlessly during the trials and about his physical appearance or behaviour? What good are your praise and words now that he is gone?

Ok, maybe it really takes losing to realise his importance. Maybe it really takes a tragedy for unity. But honestly, it sickens me, all this hypocrisy.

And I feel really sorry for him, MJ. I hope he'll be happier up there, safe from the scrunity and treated with fairness, where he maybe can lead a normal life.

RIP, MJ.

home, alone.

what the f**k am I doing at home at 9pm on a Friday night?! Nothing. Doing nothing, with nothing in mind except, why the hell am I home so early, so alone on a Friday night?!?

Is this the first of more to come where my Fridays are just like Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays?! Then what else can I look forward to every week?!

OH.MY.GOD.

FAIL.

Wtf. Seriously.

O-m-g. Seriously la, such a waste of my time!! Never meet my bf, or watch my fav tv shows, or have proper dinner 3days in a row cuz of stupid conference calls! Go away, rigid n complicated senseless processes!!!

I am not happy. I miss happiness.

too often, i stumble upon blogs/facebook profiles filled with declarations of love, expressions of happiness and pictures of bliss.

and stuff as such makes me feel jaded, and stressed. Seriously, I don't know whether to be worried, or envious of these people. Worried because I don't believe in everlasting happiness, and instead, expect everything to end in disaapointment, one way or another (cues: guitarhero song). Envious because they have the liberty of love & hope, as well as the courage to put themselves in an emotionally precarious position in the pursuit of seeking true love.

is it really that easy to fall so deeply in love? I know its not easy for me to spout the three words now because I want to take on the responsbility that comes with it.

I wonder if I can ever go back to the times when 'love' means something so straightforward.. but right now, I still think that 'love' is eroded, and irresponsible if you declare it without careful consideration of where it takes you. I've always been careful not to say these words in a moment of passion, gratitude, appreciation or whatever other extreme emotion.

of course, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy when i hear the three words whispered in my ears. but committing myself to the huge responsiblity that comes with spouting those words, is another.

that's what's making me so scared.

(Note to the NTT DM: this post is not directed at you. don't anyhow think ah. thanks for the patience you've showered on me for the longest time since I remember.)

maybe its time to quit...

wth. I'm cosy at home now, but i got the weird rush of excitment and anticipation when i saw the clock on my desktop showing 5.04.pm. The same kind of feeling i get in the office when i see its this time of the (week)day everyday.

WTF.

stop haunting me, arc!

is there a cure for peterpan's syndrome?

I wonder if it will force me to grow up if i have a house, car and baby..

don't worry, people.

i was just wondering.

i do want my own place though..

Does God love me?

Nothing seems to be going right for me now.

1. I detest my job.
2. I have no aim in life. Where am I moving towards?
3. I have no bf by my side to sayang me, to pamper me.
4. Heck, I have nobody by my side. Parents don't count cuz whining to them will worry them.
4. I don't know what I want
5. I feel lousy about myself. Not good enough, not pretty enough, not enough
6. I don't know how to make my life better
7. Nobody can help me, and I don't know how to help myself.
8. I really dislike my job.

Should I just be wilful and quit my job now?

Sigh.

BOYS STINK.

seriously, (almost) all men are jerks. except for my dad (so far).

Maybe I haven't met enough guys, but no guys i know, except my dad, is acquitted of the 'cheating' accusation, or the 'player fields'. Even my paternal granddad has 3 wives. And my maternal grandpa almost eloped with another girl 50 years ago or something while my grandma was pregnant.

The day my parents' marriage fail, will be the day I lose faith in true love completely. Which, of course, I hope will never ever come. They're still lovey dovey until today, sometimes making us children blush even.

I guess as we get older, our tolerance for what's wrong grows higher, and our definition of what's right shrinks. That's why more people cheat around now, thinking they are not committing some grievous act.

I remember years ago when I thought that cheating is an absolutely no-no and rightly leads to a breakup. But in recent years, I actually grew to understand why would guys cheat, and why girls forgive them. Either that, or I've resigned to fate that its nature that boys cheat, so there's no need to judge if its right or wrong. Its only a matter of whether you can accept it or not.

Yes, i think its nature that boys want to lay their seeds around. I believe that they are genetically programmed to breed & lead the pack, thus the endless testosterone and sex drive, which also results in something called the ego.

Face it, girls. Guys DON'T NEED a reason to fuck around. They sleeping/flirting with other girls does not mean he loves them (but of course it also means he does not love you enough to control his beastly nature). They just need to feed their ego and fulfill their 'duty' of spreading the seed, you know, like those pollen jocks in the bee movie.

So unless you are lucky enough to find a guy who loves you more than himself, you should learn to accept this way the nature works and close one (or both) eye(s) to his actions. Which, of course, the latter will make you go paranoid, cynical and mentally unsound like myself.

Otherwise, if you are capable, go sillily believe in true undying love and live in your own delusions. This is the best option.

BOYS STINK.

Oh oh, or you can find a guy with veeery little testosterones so he plays a thes least important member among the pollen jocks.

urgh.

It's perfectly fine nobody listens to my whining and complaints. That's why i have this blog.

This is MY blog, so I can whine & complain ALL I WANT.

You don't wanna entertain my whining? Den its not too late to go away NOW! If you decide to read on, DON'T tell me I'm whiney. DON'T tell me i'm crazy. I think what I want, OK? THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

--------------------

I feel lousy. I'm sad that I have to remain a normal person floating around in life, with no goals, no aims, no talents, no abilities.

They tell me I'm smart. But how so?! Where is my smartness when it comes to work? Am I not doing well at work because I'm lazy & unmotivated? Or very simply because I'm not good enough?

What am I destined to be? What kind of job should I be doing? Until now, I still cannot accept the fact that THIS, what I have now, is what my life is going to be until I retire.

They say I'm pretty. But how so? How do I compare with the millions of other pretty girls out there?? I can't.

I WANT TO BE SUPER DUPER PRETTY!!!

I need 2 more inches on my boobs, 3 inches off my ass.
A perkier butt, toner limbs & tighter stomach.
Higher nose, deeper eyes and symmetrical face.
Smoother, thicker hair and softer glowing skin.

'There are no ugly people, only poor people.'

ahhhhhhhh!!!

I NEED MONEY MONEY MONEY~~!!! No good job, where got money?

Am I really destined to be average in life? Average looks, average job, average family. Average life.

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sunday blues..

I don't really have monday blues, instead, I have sunday blues. Because sunday marks the end of my freedom. :(

My weekend wasn't too bad. I went for driving lessons, made chicken rice (quite nice leh! and from scratch, not premixed sauces), visited my dear ah-zor's grave and had yummy dinner with my family for my uncle's bday. :)

byebye, my dearest weekend. Cya in a few days.

i wanna be rich!!

so I can build a jewels-encrusted house for faithfaith...

and buy everything I want..

and travel to anywhere I fancy...

sigh. dream on,

a tragedy. a disaster. a catastrophe

I think I'm losing my fashion sense.

help.

Don't make promises when you're in joy

Don't reply when you are sad

Don't make decisions when you're angry

Think twice, act wise.

Me thinks: Don't say anything when you're having PMS.

superstupidsensitiveskin

arghhhh!! i hate my super sensitive skin!!! itchy bumps and rash all the time!

OMG. WHAT SHOULD I DO??

WHAT MUST I DO BEFORE IT BEHAVES!!

OMGOMGOMGOMGG......~~~~~~~~~~~

im so angry.

Sigh, feverish + headachy too... i don't like to be sickk!!!

i am stupid

damn stupid, im so angry with myself. for believing and harbouring hopes that stem from CRAPPY B**S**TING.

GET OFF.

body sculpt

This is me:

and this is Raaho:

I'm hoping its all worth it.

(The original pictures r guys, i tried to make them look like girls by drawing long hair and reducing the pot bellies)

stupid BOYS

i don't get it. I really don't.

Why is it that guys go koo-koo over ginormous boobs (real or fake), tranny-looking sluts BUT wants a girlfriend who's au naturel and prefably with no makeup??

Guys want a girlfriend like that, but chooses to cheat on her with a girl like in the former description. Because girlfriend is boring, and slut is hot and sexy.

WTF, GUYS, seriously WTF!?

You can very well choose to be with a slutty and hot girl of your standards to be your girlfriend and have sex with her everyday, you know? Nobody is forcing you to choose the uglier, more boring, less-hot girl to be your girlfriend.

But no, YOU chose for your girlfriend to be a simple, unhot & boring-looking lady. Then why are you watching MTV and drooling all over the scantily-dressed Latinos or wanking to huge knockers on FHM? Why are look looking at the angmohs & brunettes & eurasians and fantasizing about their deep grey eyes and 3D faces, fantasizing & flirting with them? WHY?

I know, love & lust is different. But that's damn selfish. You make your girlfriend feel unattractive, inadequate and not good enough. If you like variety, than DON'T get attached and hurt people.

I know, I know, sluts are for lovers and good girls for wives. But that's damn unfair. The sluts will never become wives, and the good girls will always be cheated on.

STUPID GUYS. GREEDY GUYS. SELFISH MALE TESTOSTERONES.

THE 50% THAT MAKES THE HUMAN RACE FAMILY WITH BEASTS.

GRRRRRRRrrrrr.

gimme money

i wanna b richhh!!!! :( :(

I wanna wear nice shoes n bags n clothes n alot of accessories n expensive cosmetics n do nothing but have fun with my other rich gorgeous bummer frensss!

i wan i wan

but i cant i cant.

i am but, a neighbourhood girl.